If i come over, it means nothing
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize
