You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
operation harelip BJ is a go
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
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