im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
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