we're blogging at a bar
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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