I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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