I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
im six kinds of drunk right now
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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