nut hugger
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
