No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
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Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
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That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
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