in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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