dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
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