so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Randomize
