The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Congratulations! We have a period
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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