We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
She needs sedatives and a leash
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
