I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
