I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
