how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Randomize
