Do you still have your period?
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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