It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
