I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
