you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
