They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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