So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize