Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
