I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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