we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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