She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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