i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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