Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Randomize
