I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize