Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
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