this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
