Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.