He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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