i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
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