Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Randomize
