the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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