I can feel you judging me through the phone.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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