some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
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im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
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No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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