Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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