Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
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I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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