In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
where does the pee come out of this thing
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
third nipple confirmed
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
