please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
