How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
