I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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