every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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