Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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