Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
