i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
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