She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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