I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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