By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
This house was built for laser tag.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Randomize
