You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
