Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
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Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
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I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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