The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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