The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
