I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
operation have a gay friend backfired
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
