How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
