Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
i will never coherently bang her
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
